We want to act surprised, but it's really no shocker that Arizona has skipped spring. Barely half way through April, we can expect to see temperatures already reaching 99 degrees!<\/p>\n
Whether you are native to Arizona or not, dealing with the heat never gets easier. We at Muscular Moving Men can completely sympathize with the grieving process most experience when the hot months start to approach. Thankfully, AZ Central can relate too! Below are the 7 stages of emotion we can expect to experience when the summer months are approaching, courtesy of AZ Central News.<\/p>\n
Stage 1<\/strong>: Mild panic. Sometime in February there\u2019s a brief hot spell where the temperature rises to about 85. It seems like things are escalating too quickly. Those couple of nights in December and January in the upper 30s apparently took away any tolerance we had developed to warm weather and this minor temperature bump stirs a little panic. Like when you find yourself rocking out to that one randomly awesome Miley Cyrus song \u2014 it\u2019s not a major event, but it\u2019s troubling.<\/p>\n Stage 2:<\/strong> Sadness. The first 100 degree day provokes sadness, especially if it\u2019s in early April. We wonder why the first settlers decided to make a home here in the Valley, not up in Prescott. Or why didn\u2019t they all settle in California? Did they predict the high taxation and that weird thing where motorcycles whip between lanes on the freeway and scare the bowel movement out of you?<\/p>\n Stage 3<\/strong>: Shock. The first 110+ degree day, hopefully in June, occasionally in May, always surprises us by reminding us just how hot that is. Like, it hurts to touch things that have been in the sun, including your shirt. In my old car (not the Camaro), my rear view mirror melted off. That\u2019s weird.<\/p>\n Stage 4<\/strong>: Excitement. When the first monsoon storm sweeps in, usually around July 4th. So exciting. Unless you\u2019re on the road driving toward it.<\/p>\n Stage 5<\/strong>: Resignation. By late July, even with occasional monsoon storms, we just leave town, generally to San Diego. You know how sometimes your wife turns on HGTV, and you\u2019re like, I don\u2019t mind watching these folks look for a house in suburban Tulsa. And after that, another episode, and another, and then by about the fourth one, you\u2019re like, I hate this lady. Why is this guy even with her, and why on Earth are they moving to Fresno? They think the deal breaker with this three-bed, two-bath rambler is that it doesn\u2019t have a bigger master suite? How about the fact that the kitchen is from 1985 and it has the curb appeal of a dirty cabbage? And then you realize you\u2019ve reached your limit, so you grab the remote and turn on Sportscenter. It\u2019s like that.<\/p>\n Stage 6<\/strong>: Anger. By early October, long after the vacations, when it\u2019s still 100, even the gentlest Phoenicians are so tired of the heat that they just want to get into a fight. With anyone. It\u2019s not that any single day of our heat is that bad; it\u2019s certainly better than a bad winter day in the Midwest. The difference is a week after their -20 day, they get a +20 day that feels like summer. Here, every day is 100+ for five months. I transform from a reasonable, caring man to an indecent, offensive neck-puncher. And so do you, jerk.<\/p>\n Stage 7:<\/strong> Relief. But then all is forgiven on that October morning when you walk outside to a chill in the air (i.e., low in the upper 60s \u2014 settle down, Midwesterners). Break out the long-sleeve shirts and full-length yoga pants, and bundle up like we\u2019re in Game of Thrones because winter is coming and in about six weeks it\u2019s going to be 39 degrees some night, which feels so cold after living through summer that it hurts your feelings.<\/p>\n